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When you are able to release or let go of all the thoughts and beliefs of who you think you are, or all that you aren't, you begin to unfold and discover yourself, your being or your soul on a whole new level. It can hit you like a light bulb going on in your mind's eye and it can also enter through you in a more subtle, calming way. I believe that you will find the most difficult leap spiritually, is from your identification with your ego: All of it's thoughts, beliefs, memories, likes, dislikes, etc., to that of yourself as an observer who can watch all of your ego's history. Who and/or what you think you are is far greater than you could ever imagine.
When you enter into your own peaceful energy, and risk becoming the observer from within, you are able to view your thoughts going by just like a river flowing. An all Native American saying reminds us: "Do not bring your river of yesterday into today." Quite an interesting concept for a river only flows in one direction. It may swirl and move in wavy motions, but it's direction is in single mindedness.
For those of you who may be knew to meditation or stilling yourself in your own silence and energy, there is nothing to fear. Many of the earlier journal exercises have had you doing similar exercises through visualizing and imagery processes.
The journal exercise for this week is in two parts.
Find that safe place in your home, or even outside in nature. Close your eyes and take in a few deep breaths...slowly breathing in love and light and good thoughts and breathing out all the worry, fears and doubts. Do this briefly only for about one or two minutes and then open your eyes. Begin observing how your attention moves from one object to another in the room you are in or where you are outside. Become aware of how your mind automatically lables everything as it is viewing it.. You will probably notice various thoughts coming to your mind, that you associcate with these objects...perhaps even feelings. This is how you operate in your daily mode. Slowly just allow yourself to view what surrounds you without labeling them. Just observe all that is in your view. See if you can feel the difference between "what you think there is"and "what is." You will soon begin to experience more of the "what is."
Now turn your attention inward to your body and mind. You may close your eyes once again, taking in deep relaxing breaths, breathing in love and light and letting go with each exhale of the worry doubts and fears that do not serve you. Observe within as you first observed with your eyes open, experiencing all you thoughts, the beliefs which come into your mind's eye and so on. Just like you began to remove the labels from the objects which surrounded you with your eyes open, see all that comes to your mind and know that all these beliefs and thoughts aren't you as well. See if you can observe all that goes on in your mind's eye. Then begin to just observe as if you were watching a movie pass by quickly. Do not judge, find fault...just allow yourself to be. Sense or feel what it is like to be this observer and if you can allow yourself to then begin to experience the silence; for who you really are is who you are in the silence.
Be gentle and nurturing to yourself...as you do this exercise...there is no right or wrong way...there is only the chance that you will just be.... Each time you do this exercise, write of your experiences in as much detail as you can.
Richest blessings to you.
COPYRIGHTED GAIL R. MITCHELL 5/25/2000