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Julia267
Member
posted 05-05-2004 05:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Julia267     Edit/Delete Message
Hi. I just found this website last night and am totally delighted. I am 39 years old, married, no children (yet?). My parents were in their forties when I was born. They are now 82 & 84; both are bedridden and have feeding tubes. I quit my job in Sept. as an office manager for a title insurance company to stay at their home during the day. I had worked for that company for 14 long and usually stressful years. I have not missed my old job for one single minute. Some days are so busy that I just "get through" the day. Some days are sad because I remember how my parents used to be. and then I just "get through" the day. Some days are great because I know I've done something on that day for them that a sitter could or would not have done or cared about. For example, on a day when my Mom understands what's going on, I might call a relative and let her talk to them for a minute or two, while she can. Or if my Dad says something that is the "old" him or has a good visit from some old golfing buddies, I can pass that information on to my siblings. We are trying very hard to keep them out of a nursing home, though at some point we know we might have to go there. It's very hard balancing my life, because even though I am a very positive, optimistic, "just do it" kind of person, their situation weighs heavily on my mind and my heart most of the time.
Anyway, thanks for letting me introduce myself. I am excited about getting to know each of you.

IP: 64.12.117.8

angel437
Member
posted 05-06-2004 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for angel437     Edit/Delete Message
Hello and Welcome Julia~

My you seem to have been dealt a full deck of challenges. Do you care for both of your parents, alone? Do you have outside assistance? Sounds to me that that is a lot for one to do alone. You are doing God's work and for that you are blessed. Your parents have raised an Angel.

You will find friendship, support, and no judgments here. Keep us posted.

Hugs,
Robin

IP: 69.142.22.6

Notenoughhours
Member
posted 05-06-2004 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Notenoughhours     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Julia. Welcome.

You do have your hands full. I am 40 myself taking caring of my 79 year old father. What are your parents conditions? My father had suffered a massive stroke about 5 years ago and has congestive heart failure. I still have to work full time. How do you manage financially now that you quit your job? I am so glad that you do not miss your job at all. I have been at my 11 long years, and it is stressful. Sounds like you have a very supportive husband too.
Your parents are so lucky to have you, and you have them. Enjoy this time with them as best you can.
Sue

IP: 12.26.69.6

Julia267
Member
posted 05-06-2004 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Julia267     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for your replies.
I stay with my parents during the weekday. We have one CNA that stays with them all other times, so someone is there all the time. My sister and I are almost always available by phone. I'm sorry I made it sound like I was totally alone. My sister lives next door to my parents and goes over frequently. My brother is available for duties other than actual caregiving. He forewarned us that he doesn't "do nice" very well -- and he's right. I think it's that he just doesn't handle the overall situation very well. But I know I could depend on him for other "stuff" I might need him to do.

My Dad had a heart attach in 1995 which weakened his heart to 30% use. He had a stroke in 1997 and another heart attack this past Christmas Day. But somehow this second attack did not effect his heart much. He also has 3 aneurisms (sp?) that could not be removed. Since the last hospital stay, he's been confused about where he is and who we are; this has improved some since he's been home, but I don't think it will ever go away. May have been result of a blood clot/stroke? during his hospital stay.

Mom has psoriatic arthritis. Last August, she suddenly began having what appeared to us as stroke symptoms. Doctors said it was not a stroke, but "vascular degeneration", which to me is slow deterioration of the arteries, as opposed to the quick action of a stroke (but that's my professional opinion, and I have a lot of those lately). She's been confused for a longer period of time - about 5 weeks this time and she sings a lot. Instead of answering your questions with spoken words, she sings the answer. Could be worse.

IP: 64.12.117.8

Notenoughhours
Member
posted 05-07-2004 09:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Notenoughhours     Edit/Delete Message
Julia, stroke will definitely affect the brain and cause confusion. The severity of the stroke will make a difference. For instance, my father's was so massive that he wasin a coma for one month, three months in the hospital and three months in rehab in the hospital 24/7. Hehad to learn to walk, talk,eat, everyting. He is still partially paralyzed on the left side. He was a mechanical engineer and now he cannot count change. So yes, your father's confusion I am sure is from the stroke and/or lack of oxygen to the brain. Your mother mayhave hardening of the arteries in the brain causing her confusion. The doctors should be able to figure out what is going on. I am so glad you have supportive siblings. You are doing so much and handling it so well. Take care of yourself.
Sue

IP: 12.26.69.6

GRM4LOVE
Moderator
posted 05-08-2004 02:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GRM4LOVE     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Julia,

Welcome.. I am sorry I wasn't able to respond sooner. I couldn't help but think how strange and what the challenge must be like to face both your parents so closely connected and on feeding tubes within such short periods of time. Keeping them at home is a huge responsibility and I honor you in all you are doing.. I hope that you will continue to post.. juggling as you are, we all can learn from one another.. richest blessings in all you are doing

gail

IP: 66.108.72.20

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