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Author Topic:   A strong spirited journey
RobinM
Member
posted 11-04-2002 11:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RobinM     Edit/Delete Message
Good day to everyone,
it has been very uplifting reading everyones' posts. I knew I wasn't alone, although sometimes it sure does feel like it.

I have been married to Dennis since June 2001..April 1998 he was diagnosed with colon cancer in the last stage. 4 1/2 years later, he has had 2 major operations, chemo the 1st time for a year, the 2nd time he was only able to tolerate the chemo for 3 months..that was October of last year.

At that time he had decided to quit all treatment..and live whatever life he had left without seeing doctors...3 days after that decision 10/31/01, he suffered a massive stroke that left him paralized on his right side and unable to speak. I brought him home 11/29/01...he has been in hospice care since...

He suffers from generalized seizures and now, every day petit mal and partial sezures which can occur at any time. he is mostly confined to his chair and bed...on days that he has more strength he walks to the bathroom....His appetite flucuates from a little food to some days no food. His aggrevation and confusion levels change at any moment...Communication is extremely difficult...

I must say , you would think that this mans spirit would be weak, but it gets stronger...you would think frustration levels would be high, yet we laugh more....you would think that the body couldn't take anymore and that the last breath is the next...yet his journey isn't over yet.

This miracle of life and death is emphasized on such a grand scale..yet simplistic in our daily functions. Polar opposites of emotion...Yes I get tired, yes I get scared, yes I become sad.....but I also get energized, find courage and have spent some of my happiest moments of my life in the midst of this miracle. I want it to be over for him when I see such saddness in his eyes....than I look deeper....inside of him he finds the courage to hum...."to dream the impossible dream..to fight the unbeatable foe"....tears well up and as I look deeper a gleam appears in those eyes..and a grin emerges...and I want him to stay forever.

Dennis will pass soon...And I have become a better person. I feel privileged, this is what being a caregiver has given me..

Thanks for listening, Robin

IP: 199.224.94.104

GRM4LOVE
Moderator
posted 11-04-2002 11:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GRM4LOVE     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Robin,

Thank you ....thank you for sharing this beautiful story of love, caring and connection...yes! indeed this is one the greatest rewards caregiving can bring to the one who is doing the caring as well as the one who is receiving.. you both have an incredibly loving, soulful connection...you have touched my heart.

If you have time to visit us in the chat room, please do so... support and knowingness that others understand and care is valuable for others as well.

richest blessings
gail

IP: 66.108.75.139

RobinM
Member
posted 03-22-2003 02:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RobinM     Edit/Delete Message
My darling husband passed away on March 14,..he died with diginity and grace...his transition was breathtaking and beautiful. his suffering is over....I am lost and numb, my dear Uncle passed away suddenly with a heart attack the same day...it will take time to move forward.

I was Dennis caregiver for 15 months...life will never be the same again...He stopped eating or taking fluids on march 1...went 14 days without food or water....as his body begam weaker, his spirit grew stronger...

I feel lost, but wanted to shsre his passing with you..thanks for your love and support. Robin

IP: 199.224.94.216

PrairieGal
unregistered
posted 03-23-2003 08:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message
Robin....
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss...you have my deepest condolences...

take care
PrairieGal

IP: 24.66.94.142

GRM4LOVE
Moderator
posted 03-24-2003 07:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GRM4LOVE     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Robin,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.. and yet I know deep within you, your soul and his will be entwined with the love and devotion you had for one another..

Be gentle and nurturing with yourself in the days that lay ahead.. I know you have a deep incredible awareness of the gift that you gave to Dennis and the gift he shared with you in his last months... to hear the beauty of your words in your sharing with us tells me what a beautiful light you are.. heal gently in your own time, on your own journey.. the loss you are feeling is two fold.. the loss of his physical presence and the loss of being needed as his caregiver.. as you heal, you will fill yourself up with more love so that you may live your own life even more fully...

Richest blessings.. take care.. we are here for you both in the chats and in the forums.,.

Gail

IP: 66.108.77.75

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